Find out what happened when I wanted a free Kit Kat

Since my Emails to the FA and Olympics went down such a storm, here is another example of me harassing hardworking people because I was bored and unemployed.

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I'll just get started with the emails, they put more eloquently into words more undying love for Kit Kat Chunky Peanut Butter.




For which I received two replies!



And then again the even better...

 

Now, I don't know who's in charge of Nestle's customer service but they seriously need to keep track of themselves and I ended up with twice as many Kit Kats, not that I'm complaining.

I also received a third reply but it was so boringly corporate and unimaginative that I couldn't be bothered putting up the picture. Seriously it sounds like it was written by an old dinner lady and didn't once bring up the topic of free Kit Kats the miserable old bitch!

Anyway, I replied quickly to both of these emails and generally played it cool. You know me...




Anyway, it was the second reply that interested me most, the so called 'box' of Kit Kats, I could have feasted my way to an early coronary or even better, I later learned that during the Challenge, boxes of Peanut Butter Kit Kats were being sold on E-Bay for upwards of £220.

Nestle were in regular contact with me over the next few days, organising a courier to bring my box over.

I'm going to break away from normal tradition and let Internet memes take over to display my surprise on arrival of my box. Or 'box.'






Wow...

This is not what I thought you meant when you said 'a box of Kit Kats.'

Cheers Nestle.........

So in the end I only got 4 Kit Kats (as the lady from the first email sent a bag of 3) but my journey wasn't finished there... Oh no...

If you remember from the first email I used my incredibly funny and inventive brain to come up with some slogans?

Well I was later asked by a company called The Big Kick (the advertising agency for Nestle) to come in and help thrash out ideas for another promotion. And they paid me a cool £100 per day and gave me a Kit Kat. Oh yeah!

Hey Nestle, you keep chopping down the rainforest and slitting Orang-utan's throats. You keep paying me that money and I'm your guy!




There's the money-shot.

What Really Grinds My Gears #2

After the mass popularity of my last grinds my gears segment in which I massed a total of one reply, it's time so a second instalment!

Do you know what really grinds my gears?




"I'm just going to nip out for a fag"
Smokers taking loads of breaks
We all love taking a break in work, me more than most, but at the same time when it really comes down to a hard, busy shift, I get stuck in and work my arse off. What a legend! At the same time, getting a sneaky half hour break does come as a welcome relief, busy or not.
So why then, in the eyes of society, does a person who smokes get to take the piss and take 4-5 fag breaks during a busy shift? Why do they get more time to relax than a non-smoker life myself? This doesn't seem fair.
A smoker would challenge this by saying something ridiculous like, "I need a cigarette to work properly." Fuck you, you don't 'need' one, you 'want' one. Ok, nicotine addiction is both physical and mental but I think even the most hardened of 'users' for lack of a better word can manage to work an hour without needing a cigarette. If not, you got a problem buddy.
And why is someone who is addicted to a nicotine allowed to pursue their own recreational habit when someone else isn't? If I was a recreational cocaine user would I be given the same 5 minutes free to take a sneaky line of the cistern in the gents? In a less extreme version, can you imagine the look of horror on a customers face is you cracked a can of lager, downed it in 5 minutes and went back to doing your job? Why doesn't the sight of a member of a workplace receive the same interest if they are smoking?


In some jobs I've been given the opportunity to take 5 minutes here and there to get a bit of fresh air, but only because I've asked. In other places I've been given a look of complete bemusement as if I'm trying to make a hilarious joke. What, you're serious?! 
This isn't a blog to have a go at smokers (mate fill your boots, enjoy it), or even at those who take a fag break (except the ones who really do take the piss, have a chat, read the newspaper). Why do workplaces allow freedoms to smokers that are deprived to those who don't smoke? Discuss