"Shouldn't you support someone like Cardiff or Swansea?"
The geographic ignorance towards Wales.
I know Wales is hardly a major player on the world scene. I can forgive a bit of ignorance when it comes to someone say from Brazil or India or even somewhere in Europe not entirely sure of whether Wales is a country or a region or a principality. However, it's fairly inexcusable when it's only one of your two bordering countries.
When I tell English people I'm Welsh, this is usually the conversation that follows...
"You don't sound Welsh"
Well actually there isn't a particularly strong twang on the North Wales coast, that's why my accent is a garbled kind-of-scouse-manc-welsh hybrid... Once you go a few minutes inland then there is a noticeable change in accents.
"Oh... I went to Cardiff once, is that near you?"
No, as I'm pretty sure I mentioned, I'm from North Wales. Cardiff is in South Wales. As I also referenced with regards to my accent, I'm actually closer to Liverpool and Manchester.
"But Wales is tiny I bet it only takes twenty minutes to get from one end to the other."
Yes, Wales is a fairly small country but still has around of over 3,000,000 people and the drive to Cardiff, while not huge on a distance scale, is marred by winding country roads and tractors round every corner.
"So you're from the Valleys then?"
No, they are also in South Wales and actually even on a Welsh scale are a fairly small part of our country
"Whatever, you're still a Taff!"
Again, no, I'd be a Taff if I was from South Wales, a reference to the river Taff which begins in the Brecon Beacons and joins the sea in Cardiff. If we're going to start name-calling, technically I'm a Gog. As in Gogledd Cymru which translates as North Wales, you English bastard.
"Oh yeah, Welsh. That crazy language with no vowels."
Wrong again and don't steal jokes from Jimmy Carr. We actually have two more vowels than English and vowels are frequently used in Welsh despite those stereotypes.
And before you ask, when it comes to football, I support Manchester United.
"What?! Why don't you support Cardiff or Swansea?"
Look mate, as I mentioned, geographically I'm a lot closer to Manchester than I am to both of those places, and even closer still to Liverpool... Do you want me to draw you a map?
"No, I'm alright,"
Well sit down and shut up because I'm doing one anyway!
So you see, I'm actually nowhere near Cardiff or Swansea.
"Well why don't you support Rhyl FC then?"
Come on, mate. You support West Ham because you're from East London but you were born closer to Leyton Orient. You chose West Ham because you're family supported them and they were the nearest big team. Same with me. While I still cheer when I see Rhyl doing well in the paper, I don't follow semi-pro football with any sort of enthusiasm.
"So do you know Paul Jones? He's from Wales."
No, do you know Jonathan Smith, he's from Lemington Spa. That's just up the road right?
Seriously, I'm not expecting everyone to tell me the name of every town and village in Wales, I know that Newcastle is in the north of England and Portsmouth is in the south. Sort it!
Come on, mate. You support West Ham because you're from East London but you were born closer to Leyton Orient. You chose West Ham because you're family supported them and they were the nearest big team. Same with me. While I still cheer when I see Rhyl doing well in the paper, I don't follow semi-pro football with any sort of enthusiasm.
"So do you know Paul Jones? He's from Wales."
No, do you know Jonathan Smith, he's from Lemington Spa. That's just up the road right?
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Seriously, I'm not expecting everyone to tell me the name of every town and village in Wales, I know that Newcastle is in the north of England and Portsmouth is in the south. Sort it!
Cymru am Byth!!!
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